SELECTIVE BLINDNESS
I had my first swimming experience in 2018. My ex, Mr charming had decided on that hot Sunday afternoon that we were going to the pool. Prior to this, my opinion of "going to the pool" was to sit on those fine long chairs by the poolside, wearing tight clothes and taking pictures you know… I didn't think regular people could just go to the pool and actually swim. So imagine how awkward it felt when he carried me inside the water and started teaching me how to swim, step by step, flap by flap.
Since then, I have gone to the pool a number of times, working on my strokes, hanging out with friends and twerking in the water occasionally.
There are all sorts of people both in and by the pool. There are those who came to sit and enjoy the view, those who come to show off their fine body, sit at the edge of the pool with only their legs touching the water, taking pictures, those who came to test the water-resistance of their phones and so on. There's one more category though, a special category. These are the ones people would call "fish" They are good swimmers, most of them are either the lifeguards of the pool, members of a swimming club or just people who love to swim. They are always ready to help younglings (especially young ladies) "perfect" their strokes. So they offer a better technique, they tell you to hold them on the neck, to turn you back to them so they can guide you from the back, all the while touching and touching in all the wrong places.
Sometimes they are easy to spot; Like the guy I met sometime last year, he was such a good swimmer! Told him to help me with one thing or the other and at some point when my back was against his chest, I could feel his boner. Or the pot-bellied old man I met sometime last month that seemed very enthusiastic about turning me into a "fish".
Other times, they are not so easy to spot. They can even do it so well that you will feel their touch in those places and excuse them as part of the process because they are masters of the craft.
I recently met one. He seemed like the good type of "fish"; talking to me, gently guiding me, a brush here, a touch there. Thing is, I was actually really learning from him so it was easy to excuse this. Infact, it didn't occur to me that he might have been doing it deliberately until yesterday evening when he was teaching me major techniques, this time in the deeper part of the pool, so I had no choice but to trust him. While the whole lesson was going on, I would notice a touch here and there, I'd feel uneasy but quickly shake it off and make an excuse for it, until he left me to go with his friends and I encountered the pot-bellied old man again. The pot-bellied old man was known for his pervy ways so it wasn't a total surprise when he asked me to wrap my legs around his waist and fasten my hands around his waist in an attempt to teach me how to float on my own. I was very, very, very uncomfortable but he did teach me and escaping him wasn't so easy either.
When I left the pool and I saw my "good" fish again, it occurred to me that I was being biased in my judgement. He wasn’t any different from the pot-bellied old man but I was unwilling to admit to myself the truth. Maybe because I wanted so bad to believe otherwise, or because he is an expert in the game. I had done what most of us do when we are faced with situations like this, I had looked at two people doing the same thing and named one the devil because he didn’t wrap himself in the cloak of faux goodness and innocence. I had looked at the wolf in a sheep cloth, saw that he was hiding and pretended not to see.
How am I any different from people I have so easily referred to as hypocrites?
