It takes a village
For a while now, I have been unable to attend my fashion classes, no thanks to Aunty Rona. Being the restless knowledge seeker that I am, I decided to ask iya basit- the tailor who occupies one of the four container shops in front of our house- if I could be using her machine for the main and time and she obliged me. So, slowly and gently, I was being introduced to the small community these shop owners have created out of proximal circumstances. This community includes Iya Hassan, the other tailor that shares a shop with Iya basit, Iya Khadija, the vegetables and fruits seller, Iya'n bread, the bread seller and Baba Olose, The only man amongst them.
The community they have built is so strong and intimate that when Iya Hassan lost her 2 week-old baby and outsiders who didn't know would ask, any one of them would very simply and effortlessly answer that someone just came to carry the child out or the child is with his grandmother at home. At least, once a day Baba Olose would leave his shop to come and joke and share stories with her and make her laugh, or Iya Khadija would pick fake fights with her, anything to keep her strong and going. The strength of this community is also evident in other smaller aspects like when one person is sleeping and the others just keep on selling for them without even asking for confirmation or correct prices because they already know or how whoever comes first sweeps the front of everyone's shop as she sweeps hers. I have interacted with this community, watch them talk, laugh, gossip and sell and I know that what they have is a strong bond.
It's beautiful to see a circle of people who not only care for each other but are actively working to help each other grow in every way they can. I know a lot of people champion the 'no friends no drama' clause, I don't believe in it. I think people are important to us and our growth in every way, I think it's precious and beyond encouraging to have and know that there are people who are genuinely on your side and believing on you to win. These are 5 different people who met by chance, proximity made them neighbors and they built their own community, them against the world.
Then came yesterday afternoon… while I was struggling with fixing a zip correctly on a new dress I was sewing and jamming Ebenezer Obey's Ota mi dehin leyin mi,
I began to hear whispers about how one person should apologise to the other and simply bury the hatchet. It was strange, in all of my months frequenting this place, I'd never heard them so much as exchange words. But this became a complete show quicky, with shouts, confrontations and every other thing that comes to play in a Yoruba women's fight (except physical). The funny part was when somebody would be making a comment and would be looking at me for confirmation or validation or God knows what, But all through this fight, one thing kept ringing out. It goes something like: you know we can't throw each other away, this is us and we have to move past this because who else do we have or where else can we go. Eventually, the fight finished and they made up. As of today, if you listen to them relate, you would not believe that two of them almost beat each other up yesterday, and that's the power of a community. Knowing without a doubt that even when things are not going smoothly someone has your back, to know of a certainty that even after that fight, Iya Khadija will still go out rest assured that her market isn't only safe, but will also be attended to.
There's a saying that goes "if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go with people". No man Is an island and we are created differently so we can complement each other. Yes, sometimes there'll be fights and disagreement but in all, they'll still come through for you in spite of any such event. Find your circle, stay in it. I know it's easier said than done, but I don't think anyone was made to be a loner. Actively seek to build a community of true friendship based on love and trust. Remember, if you want to go far...
